New challenges

Its been a while since I last wrote, a lots has happened in the last little while.The biggest change is going to happen on Friday. I will be starting a new job with the NHS as a Healthcare assistant. I have been trying for the last 2 years to get a job like this, so it has been a long road. I have been working in my previous job for 4 1/2 years and it has been good to me. Getting me back into employment after having my children, but I have struggled with it at times. I have not always enjoyed the work and I think towards the end it showed. (My PR said I lacked motivation on the lobby) For me it was just a job and I didn't feel I was making a difference to anybody, and that is a really strong motivator for me. There have been many times when I've gone along the applying for a job route, got to interview and been certain this is it for it to come crashing down and not get any further so why now, why have I succeed where I have failed in the past. I don't know, but I do feel that I am coming into where God wants me to be. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know Satan will want to make me feel like I can't do this job but loads have people have said things like "I can see you working there" or "You'll be really good at that" so I have to choose to listen to those words. I am excited at the opportunities I will have, the learning opportunities that will come along for me. I also have a job as a Youth Support Worker which I am equally excited about. I am looking forward to getting my teeth into something where I can make a difference to young people's lives. The centre is based in a poor area of the city where people's perceptions of those that live there aren't encouraging and building up the residents to do something useful with their lives so its gonna be a great time of learning and journeying. I am still Street Pastoring which I enjoy - even into the small hours of the morning which I only see when on a shift. Something else I am excited about is The National Day of Prayer and Worship at Wembley stadium. We have a group of us going and when I found out the cost I was a bit uncertain as to whether I would be able to go. I never aired these concerns to anyone but thought I would speak to the organiser about it on Sunday. After thinking and rethinking I felt I should just go as I really wanted to and I could pay at the end of the month after payday. I heard today that the ticket has been paid for and I owe nothing!!!!! Amazing. How does that happen. God has answered my hearts desire. I don't know who has paid and maybe I never will but if you read this, THANK YOU.

Belgium

WOW, Belgium was amazing. We went for 4 days with 80 other members from our church. The aim of the mission was to run an English Fayre and Evening concert and to support and encourage the local church which we support.On THursday 12th April, at 8 o clock in the morning 17 cars and 1 van left One Church, Gloucester and headed for Dover port for a 12.55 sailing to Calais. The journey went smoothly and from Calais we travelled through France, into Belgium and to our destination; Herstal, Liege, Southern Belgium. We arrived at the church about 7pm that evening and were greeted with cups of tea, dinner and a big Welcome from the Church over there. After enjoying some food and fellowship with good friends we left in groups so go to the hotel. Our first challenge was to find the hotel. We came last - well someone has too!! It turns out there are 4 options for Liege in SatNav but the road we were looking for was only in one of them. We tried to put the road name in but it didn't accept it so we decided to head towards Liege anyway. After still not finding it we and 40 mins later we prayed out to God to help us and which after that prayer we had the idea that maybe we should look at the accents on the letters as that might be the issue - it turns out it was, and when logistics man Chris rang wondering where we were we were able to tell him that we now were headed in the right direction but were 10 miles away. Ahh the joys of mission. The hotel - Premiere Classe - well as Kev described it, it was clean and functional. It had a double bed, belgian telly and a space pod for a bathroom. Interesting. We fortunately were only sleeping there so it was ok. ON Friday we met at church and had a fantastic breakfast - in fact the food throughout was amazing - and then some orientation time/team time. In the afternoon we went down to the town square to start preparing for the english fayre. Pete and I ran the tin can alley stall. Who would've thought so much planning was needed to go into what seemed like such an easy stall. Set up the tins in a triangular shape and then someone knocks them down. We did that but soon discovered that with the wooden balls the tins weren't goon last very long before being too dented to be stacked on top of each other. So after various efforts into the design and how we were going to play it we decided to go with this:

The aim was to knock just the top tin off each post without knocking any other tins off. Saturday morning was the fayre - a big white marquee had been set up for the day to house the fayre and we spent the morning setting up tables, decorating the tent and making the place look inviting for the locals to come to. Once we were set up other menbers of the team came and played the various games on offer which was a good opportunity to practise our french. Trying to explain to french people when all you can say is Bonjour was interesting. A lot of "Oui's" and "Non' in various high pitched voices, questioning, agreeing, disagreeing etc. Most people got the idea and generally it was quite hard. Only 1 person actually managed to knock all 3 top tins off without displacing the others. Other stalls included tombolla, ping pong challenge, splat the rat, hook a duck, face painting,the bottle stall, craft and a stall selling English Cream teas. We had about 200 people came through the tent and we were able to invite them to the evening concert. In the evening we held a church-style concert of how we do church at easter in the UK. About 30 people came to the evening service which the Belgium Church were really pleased with. Sunday morning we were down at the community centre for church again. Simon spoke to the churches, it was great to share church with people whose language we didn;'t know but with whom we felt like family. Lauro's daughter Kerin did most of the translating and she was amazing going from french to englsih and back again without even blinking. We helped to pack down after the service and were ready to leave by about 1pm. We left in convoys of 3 heading towards calais. We got most of the way to Calais when the 'refuel' late came on and after travelling a few more miles decided to fuel up. Being englsih we assumed the petrol stations would be open, but not so. We went to a couple which were closed and one specifically for trucks, one which takes card payments but there is no cashier but that wouldn't accept our English cards. Finally we found a self-serve petrol station 4 miles from the port and were able to put some fuel in. The journey back was more choppy than on the way out but it was fine, no hiccups. We did get delayed on the M4 as there were traffic works which had cut the motorway down to 1 lane from 3 to fix a cat's eye. I guess the council didn't think that the last day of the esater holidays there would be a lot of people returning from holiday. We got delayed by about an hour and returned home by 11.30pm It was a short mission but definitely worth going and I can't wait to go again. I would love to take the kids with us next time, but it would depend on their age. Here are some photos from our trip:

Sometimes it comes one after another

This morning I opened the back door to let Bella (our cat) in to smell a rather smelly smell. Upon further examination I found a load of sewage had come up out of the outside drain. YUK. I had to goto work today so dropped Hannah & Joshua at their different places and phoned Pete to tell him the news. After discussing it we decided to phone the insurance company and see what they could do for us. Yesterday the car had a coil pack go on it again (at least a different one this time, only 2 more to go and we’ll have a full set of new ones). We have also been trying to solve its oil problem (i’ll have to ask Pete his thoughts on whether its solved) and then the front brakes went. Soon after that the back brakes went and Pete also discovered the calliper was so seized as to need replacing. We go to Belgium in less than 2 weeks in said car, anyone get the feeling the devil isn’t happy with us.!! So with these two events happening and the lack of money in my bank account, after I dropped Joshua off I crumbled – feeling overwhelmed with the one thing after another nature of this attack. I went round to a friend of mine who, very kindly, let me in as I just turned up on her doorstep out of the blue. We spent sometime talking and praying about things and I left feeling strengthened and ready to face the day. The insurance company couldn’t really help us if it was a general blockage but if it was something that is unlikely to happen – like a tree root going through the pipe – they could. It turns out it was a general blockage that affected us and two of our neighbours down the line. Also found out we should have rung Severn Trent as they would’ve come out for free to unblock it, however they have said we can write to them and they will consider refunding us the money. Will pray for favour with them tonight and ring them tomorrow to explain our situation and ask if they will refund us the money. The end of the day has been more pleasant, Joshua is gaining in confidence with swimming and even jumped in mostly by himself . I love that proud parent feeling you get when your child achieves something. Especially as I made a decision to move him from one swim class to a different – more expensive but with less children – class. Its paying off, I was right to move him, to give him the best chance possible. However, there’s always one of them as well, the evening meal wasn’t so good. Hannah & I had a disagreement. Oh how I wish I could get on/understand her better. We can get on so well and she’s a real pleasure to have around and then other times we just clash like fingernails running down a blackboard. Tomorrow is another day for God’s grace to work in me. I shall keep asking for more and hopefully, one day, I’ll get it right.

Parenthood

I am reading a 'daily' journal called 'When the handwriting on the wall is in brown crayon' - a devotional devoted to busy mothers and todays reading struck me.

Here it is;

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13 v 13

I searched - but there was definitely NOT a packet of instructions attached to my children when they arrived. And none has since come through my letter-box. Lord show me how to be a good parent. Teach me to correct without crushing, help without hanging on, listen without laughing, surround without smothering and love without limit - the way You love me.

And then she wrote further;

Though I lecture and harp at my children and have not love, I will be background noise to rebellious thoughts. And though I wisely warn them not to use the street as a playground, or they'll be killed; and though i patiently explain why snails have mobile homes, and I give endless answers to life's other mysteries; and though U have faith the can remove mountains of ignorance - yet never hug my children - I have taught nothing.
And though I slave over a steaming stove with balanced diets and complicated recipes and even burn my fingers - yet never smile when I serve - i have not really fed them.
A truly loving mother suffers through unfinished sentences, clutter, nicks on the furniture, sleepless nights and adolescent insults and is kind enough to think her kids are the greatest. A loving mother tries not to resent her children for being free like she used to be, and she doesn't brag about how she never spoke to her mother like that.
Real love: considers a childish nightmare more urgent that her need for sleep; is not shattered by the title "Meanest Mum"; doesn't embarrass a toddler who breaks potty training or a teenager who still spills the milk; steadfastly refuses to entertain visions of escape; and does not smirk as her child trips over the toy he refused to put away (but with silent wisdom rejoices in the effective lessons of experience)
Mother-love has arms strong from lifting, a heart large with believing, a mind stretched with hoping, shoulders soft with enduring and knees bent with committing.
True mother love never fails to point her child to the Author of Love

Wow - what a standard and how many times do I fall short of that.
This morning Joshua didn't get dressed in time and because of that he now can't play on the computer - he cries and I tell him that he should of got on with what he was supposed to be doing. If i give in to him I'm not loving him I'm just pandering to him. We all fell out over the cereal this morning, The kids wanted their breakfast faster than I could get it off the tray which so annoyed me at their impatience for breakfast. They don't know how some children won't even get breakfast in the morning, but my reaction was not of love but of annoyance. Oh how far short do I fall.

God help me to be a good parent. What a responsibility you have given to me that you would trust me to raise these two little people to be all You want them to be.

As for me and my house we're going to serve the Lord

January is almost at an end - wow that is amazing. Time certainly goes fast when your older. What have I achieved of my list thus far. Well I am working my way through the Street Pastors courses. I will have completed 3 out of 4 by the end of Saturday which means only 1 more until I can go out as an official Street Pastor. At the training course on Saturday - at the police station, Mark asked if anyone wanted to open in prayer and I could feel myself shrinking in my seat, so instead I stood up and offered to open in prayer to 20 something people - most of whom I had never met before. Getting out of my comfort zone or what.

I have started to read a book called The Five love languages of children. I really feel that God is talking to me about investing in my children. I want them to grow up knowing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, they are loved by us and so much more by God. The other day (as part of our Breakthrough Fasting)I was praying and singing in the car park at work when I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that I need to sing a song of love over my children. I need to have high expectations for them so that they can fulfil their God-given potential.
I have also discovered the joy of walking to work. It is a spiritual and physical exercise. I get the heart pumping whilst praying to God and mulling things over in my head.

The house is still a tip - that one is a year long project. Ongoing, for ever and ever, Amen. However another charity drop off day will be coming up soon so will have to do my darnedest to get there so I can offload some stuff.

So far I think January has gone pretty well and I feel that I am achieving the things I have set out to do.

Happy New Year - 2012

2012 is here, and it is supposed to be a glorious year for the UK. The Queens Diamond Jubilee, the Olympics amongst others and it got me thinking "what do I want to achieve in 2012. So I sat down and wrote down my resolutions and achievements for 2012 and here are some of them.
Physical, Spiritual, Educational, Relational, Service and Financially

Physically
I need to take up running again. I am one of those people who see's food and puts on half a stone. Although motivating myself can be difficult - I'm not a "natural" runner, I do enjoy when I'm out there. I need to find some 10K races to challenge myself.

De-clutter the house. It is so full of stuff its driving me mad. I hate not having a tidy house. I may put pressure on myself by comparing my house to other people's houses but there is just stuff everywhere. Mostly not mine as well.

Pete started painting the kitchen last year in a summery yellow colour and it looks really nice so I want to finish the kitchen off, and the hallway as well and then do the stairs and landing and then maybe when those things are done I could host Connect in my house. (Church housegroup)

This New Year's eve I was home alone with the telly, so if the tidying and painting of the house goes to plan I could maybe have my own NYE's party with some friends.

Spiritually
I want to carry on learning to speak in tongues and have the confidence to use it. Also to pray when prompted instead of being really shy. This afternoon at church I felt like I should ask someone if I could pray for them but I didn't. Maybe because he has a bigwig job and I feel a little bit small.

Educational
I'd like to go on a course. Whether its for a day or a term I think the old grey matter needs dusting off.

Relational
Spend some quality time with my family.
Spend individual time with the kids.

Service
I am signing up to become a Street Pastor. I am really looking forward to this and the courses I have to take will help with the educational goals.

Financially
We have set up a really good budget system with a spreadsheet. I love my spreadsheet. At the click of button I can tell you how much money I have saved towards a new mattress. (I am going to get a good nights sleep one night this year) or how much money we have towards the car tax. I love it. I am going to teach my children financial responsibility.

We are starting the year off at church by fasting and praying. 4 days of praying for our city, from the church and then going out into the community - a hotel that used to be a sex hotel, a nightclub and the Guildhall (like a theatre i guess). Our church is then spending another 2 weeks praying and fasting for breakthrough in our city. What a way to start off the New year. In April Pete and I will be part of a 100 strong team going on mission to Belgium. Gonna be exciting.

Perhaps my last resolution will be to blog a bit more this year than last. Haha

Wishing you all a happy new year and that 2012 will be a blessed and awesome year.

Reading Half Marathon/ Birthday Weekend

If you read my blog you might be wondering whether I completed my half marathon. Yes is the answer, in a time of 3 hours 8 minutes and if you really want to get detail a whole 10 seconds!!! It was a great achievement for me although I realise that others finished much earlier than I did but I was, at least, not last!!.

It took a lot of discipline in training and I know that if I trained harder I could of got a better time but I am a busy mum who works and has other commitments to fit in around what I want to do.
The other day I was in Bristol City, it was about 6.30/7pm and it made me think it would be great to do the Bristol Half - I wonder when it is. It is in September so I'm now thinking I might do that one as well. I had said I wouldn't do another big race because the training takes up a lot of time but then again its a women's perogative to change her mind!!

My birthday was the day before the race which was a great excuse to go away but it did mean I couldn't endulge in the hotel breakfast on the day of the race (maybe will have to rethink that part!!) We left the children with Mum & Dad and took off on the motorbike up to Reading where we stayed the night in a Holiday Inn. It was so nice not too have to cook dinner or wash up or get up and down from the table for any number of reasons. We then spent a little while listening to a sweet old man 'tinkling the ivories' before going to bed.
On the morning of the race we arrived early after having a healthy pre-race breakfast of 'salted' porridge (not quite sure about the salted part)and banana and scrambled eggs, whilst Pete endulged in the cooked breakfast after also having the porridge. There were about 16,000 competitors milling around outside the Madjeski Stadium with lots of tents - either selling running gear or for storing your gear.
My cousin also entered but she is in a different league to me. When it was time to goto the start line she went in one direction and I in another (she finished in 1 hr 43mins) In the area where I was there was a man standing in a 'mankini' (some bit of material that leaves not a lot to the imagination). I have to wonder why anyone would run a 13 mile race virtually naked but I guess we're all different.
It took about 18 mins to get to the start line (3hours to get to the finish!!) and then we were off, it was that packed. The atmosphere was great, people lining the streets to see us as we went on our way, kids holding out their hands to be tagged.
Towards the end I found the going really tough, my back was sore, my legs were sore and a lady close by encouraged me to keep going. Once we were on the uphill road to the stadium I put on a piece of music (a power song) to give me new energy and ran as fast as I could to the finish. After finishing we made our way out of the stadium where we received a medal and goody bag. Afterwards I was able to get a back massage which was really nice. We took a steady journey back home but each time we stopped it got harder to get off the bike. By the morning I had pulled a muscle in my leg. I ran 13 miles but pulled my muscle getting off a motorbike!!!

Reading Half Marathon - my greatest physical challenge

I have just completed my last run before the BIG ONE. Yep this weekend it is the Reading Half Marathon. I can't quite believe that I am going to be part of a race with 18000 others. (At least I stand a good chance of not being last) I just did a short run today so as not to wear myself out for Sunday. 13.1 miles is a long way. Yesterday I was downloading songs for my iPod - if you have any suggestiuons on good praise songs or secular running music let me know.
If you also want to sponsor me there is still time, please see my previous post which explains what I am doing this mad thing for, then just contact me via email or facebook and let me know how much and I will add you to the form.
Many tanks

p.s dont forget to pray for me for the following things
1. Strength - mental, emotional and physical
2. Strength for my muscles - particulary my left calf muscle which I have noticed can hurt, strangely when I'm changing gear in the car :~
3. that I remain injury free during the course - in particular from blistering on my right foot
4. that I complete the course - after all I can't collect sponsor money if I dont finish and I want the medal at the end
5. Good weather, but not too hot!!

The race starts at 10am on Sunday 20th March. Hopefully being a year older wont have too bad effect on my running. (It is my birthday on Saturday. The chocolate cake will have to wait till afterwards!!)

Reading Half Marathon

Hi

I am taking part in Reading Half Marathon this year on March 20th 2011. I started running in order to lose weight and ran the Race for Life 5km in 2009. I felt I needed something of a bigger challenge the following year so decided to do the 10km Race for life in June 2010. I slowly progressed and wondered what to do next, the obvious choice was a half marathon, so here I am signed up for March 2011.

Why am I doing it? Well, I am raising money for charity and thought it ought to be something challenging if I am to get people to give me money.
Who am I raising money for? I am raising money for the Women's Ministry team in my church that will be going out to Eastern Europe taking aid out and encouraging other women out there. I would love to go out to Eastern Europe as I feel a real heart for that part of the world but the kids are too young for me to be away for a long period of time (only 10 days but that's long enough at their age) so I think this is good way for me to be involved.
This is such an exciting trip and I am really pleased to be able to support it.
Please would you support it also, through sponsoring me. I have no doubt it will be a tough challenge to complete but the finish line will be so much better knowing that I have done my part for this trip.

If you would like to sponsor me you can do so in one of the following ways
1. Email/facebook me how much you would like to sponsor me and I can add it to the sponsor form
2. See me on a sunday at church
3. Post me a cheque.

If you would like email or snail mail detail please message me on facebook. Thank you

Getting Lost

Yesterday I had a very scary experience whilst in town with the kids. We were walking along and the kids like to be able to walk by themselves and so Hannah was up front - by a little bit but I could see her - and Josh was to the side of me but I kept looking that way to check he was OK. I then started moving over to the side to go into a shop and when I checked to make sure I had both children I couldn't see Joshua.
It was only a couple of seconds but he was gone, so I called for him but no reply, I called again but no reply, I couldn't see him so I started running around shouting his name with increasing panic in my voice. I grabbed Hannah and was holding her whilst trying to find Joshua. Someone asked me how old he was. 3 yrs old. Others stopped and looked whilst others realised I wasn't joking, I seriously couldn't f ind Josh. After much panicking some shoppers found a boy on his own, crying. I don't know the details as I wasn't where he was. At first I couldn't see him and the shoppers were saying "over there", I was saying "Where" and eventually I found him. A kind lady with her children offered to look after Hannah whilst I ran to Josh. I hugged him tight and relief poured over me in the form of crying. And the panic - where was Hannah, screaming "Where's Hannah" and someone who knew me from when I worked at the pizza shop (I vaguely recognized her, but recognition is not a strong point when in the midst of panicking) calmly told me she was "over there" by the shop we were going into. Relief. Back together. But OMGosh, my heart was pounding and I was still shaking and kind lady gave me a hug.
WoW what a scary experience, the most scary part is knowing it only took a couple of seconds for Josh to get lost but (maybe, not sure of time) 5 minutes to find him. I don't know whether he followed some one else or just carried on walking. I'm just glad I can sit here and blog about it knowing they are both sat on the sofa eating chocolate cereal and are safe.

The Nativity

The BBC put on a production called The Nativity which was about the aforementioned Nativity. It was a four-part program and was very interesting. Putting artistic license to one side it was very though provoking.
Mary was a young girl (said to be 16 in the film) and pledged to be married in a time when committing adultery would get you stoned to death and was very much frowned upon. Her & Joseph appeard to be happy, presumably having only met through her parents wishes, they talked, got on well with eachother and Joseph was mad about Mary. Mary was visited by the Angel Gabriel with the news she would have a baby but she was still a virgin. I think Mary was very brave to accept what was happening to her. She must've been very scared. How did she tell her parents, Joseph and her friends. It would surely be scary to be pregnant in our modern day but 2000 years it must have been a hellish time. The story goes from the visiting of the angel to Mary & Joseph travelling to Bethlehem with Mary being ready to give birth. There is nothing said about the in-between 9 months. What must have Mary thought? Did she doubt her ability to do this job. What about all those that didn't believe her. Did her parents believe her? It was quite a job to ask of Mary, to go through all the accusations and no-doubt name-calling, the scandal that the pregnancy would've caused. I've never thought about this side of the nativity. We tend to think of the infant nativity that our children perform in school, but it couldn't have been that nice. What did Joseph think. In the film, right up until the end (the birth) Joseph was racked with the pain of what he thought had happened. Mary's betrayal of him. He was a man of his word and as he said to Mary's parents he'd see that she was safely delivered to bethlehem. As Mary went into labour, Joseph couldn't watch and I sat there in pain for Mary having to go through the labour with a stranger and will Jospeh to 'see'. To go to Mary and comfort her. Right at the end he did and you know that his heart knowledge had finally travellled to his head.
I think it was very brave of the BBC to put this produciton on - certainly in times where christians cant be seen to be offending any other religion. It has made me think about the 9 months between the visit of the angel and the birth of Jesus and how brave both Mary & Joseph were in following God's plan.
If Mary hadn't off said yes to God would he have carried on anyway or would there have been a plan B?

Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat (apparently)

It is 3 days till Christmas and as ever I am completely organised. I am not the type of person that has presents still left to wrap, presents to collect from the postal depot, still waiting for things off ebay (not majorly ruin your christmas things) and presents to collect from another part of the country whilst the roads are icy and snowy. Nope not me. Miss Organisation is my name. Haha
So there we are, everything I am not the type of person is really me. Oh dear. It happens every year. Although progress has been made in the planning dept. I stesarted putting some money aside for presents in October so I had a few pounds. Having said that I like the saving side and am going to continue it throughout the year. Whether I will ever be organised is something not to hold your breathe about.
I feel like I'm starting to wind down a bit now, school has finished and Hannah was fortunate enough to get two snow days extra as she wasn't due to finish till Tuesday this week but the weather put a stiop to school on Sunday night. I have only a shift on Christmas Eve and then will be off for 6 days (hopefully, have yet to see the rota). December has been busy, working, school nativities, Hannah's extra clubs that she goes to and I'm left feeling like when will I ever get on top of the house work. Washing is a continual mountain needing to be done, plus the hoovering and cleaning. Arrrghhhhh
I shall be glad of some rest. I'm not opting for extra hours at work till the schools get back into the swing of things as the kids have been farmed out enough in recent weeks.

Christmas - I am looking forward to seeing Hannah & Joshua's faces when they open up their big presents and see the look of delight when they realise what we have bought for them.
I have had a few presents from Pete already. He, sadly doesn't really do surprises and doesn't think he buys good presents but he does when he puts his mind to it. He's bought me some stuiff for running so in the new year I can really concentrate on my half marathon and a book on London so I can work out what to see & do when we go (hopefully half term).
Spending some family time with everyone.
Hannah got us to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus the other day on the walk back from work, so we'll have to do that on the day.
Resting, relaxing, quality family time. Woo hoo.

6 miles today

Untitled 11/23/10

My training route today. Gonna add a little more each week or so.

Marathon training continued

I went out for a run today. I thought I would go past my daughter's friends house to drop off what she had forgotten to take to school with her and then continue on my way. I wasn't sure where I was going to go but just kept running. I am more of a fair weather runner and have not kept on top of my fitness, as of late I haven't really been doing much running or exercising so as I was running along it seemed to get harder but I carried on regardless. Along a straight, long road. I had thought about this route a little but considering last week I only ran 3 miles I should've perhaps thought a little more about where I was going. It turned out to be a 10k run. Not bad considering how much I haven't run but I could tell that I have lost fitness (and put on weight) recently. If only I could bank it. I've done three hours exercise this week add that to my previous 2 hours and keep it so that in two weeks time when I've done no exercise I can just bring my fitness level back to where it was. I was 10 minutes over my personal best for that distance so a bit more running is needed. I just have to push myself to do it. I'm not a madly in love runner but more of a enjoy it once I get going, but have to motivate myself to do it kind of runner. Oh well, at least I can bank 1 1/2 hours of fitness levels.

Marathon training

Well Half-term is over so I have no excuse not to go out running. I think I am one of those unfortunate people who have to exercise in order to, at least, maintain my weight otherwise looking at food I seem to put weight on. It's quite depressing really getting on the scales only to discover the digits only move upwards not down so I have decided for the moment to relieve the scales of their job and use my clothes as a guide to whether I am putting on too much weight. So far so good.
Now that the kids are back in school I went running today - with cough and cold. I think there is a reason why your supposed to not exercise when not feeling 10% but still I went anyway. I decided to stop at work - not for a Big mac - to get my hours sorted for next and as i couldn't get them on the phone I thought I would run out that way. It was only a short run today which was good as I wasn't feeling great. I think also part of that is loss of fitness. Fitness is something that needs to be attained and cant be kept. We have to jeep working at it in order to maintain it. So having done not a lot of exercise in the past week or so I did rather feel it today. Still the training has started. 2.73 miles today, and some core muscles training at the end. Aerobics on Thursday which will be my cross-training and then hopefully get out on Sunday morning. Watch this space.....

Reading Half Marathon

Well as the title says, I have signed up for the Reading Half Marathon. It is on March 20th 2011. A great way to celebrate turning 34. When submitting the form you have to predict your finishing time so they can place you in the correct zone. I have gone for 2hrs 30 mins. I had a finishing time of 75 mins for my 10km race in June and the half marathon is double this. I realise that doesn't automatically mean I should double the time but seeing as I have never ran this distance before its a base to start from. Hopefully, with training I should be able to loose some more weight and therefore with carrying less weight should be able to go faster. I shall be looking into some training programs and eating plans etc to help me reach my challenge.
Went for a run today and did 4.85 miles and managed to shave off 2 minutes which doesn't seem a lot but it requires a lot of energy as you have to go slightly faster but for more longer periods of time.
Here's to training for the next 5 months.

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

In my Bible reading today the reading was taken from Genesis 1: 26-31 and 2: 18-25 where God created the world and saw that it was good. That includes me. Wow that is amazing. I have struggled for years with self-doubt about the way I look and whether I'm good at stuff. I see talented people doing things and just wish I could be that good, for example the worship team at church is awesome but I just don't think I could be that good and I know that I would struggle with it. I wish I was slimmer or prettier but its all MY opinion. I haven't done any bible reading notes for a few days but today picked up the notes and bible and read this verse
"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good"
We've been doing a series on the Orphan spirit at church in the last few weeks and it's about replacing our orphan spirit - one that says I'm not good enough - with a God spirit that says 'you are my son/daughter' 'an heir' and the bible reading notes for this month are all about the orphan spirit. Last week a situation at home came to a head and after setting of for church I came back before even getting there and just really felt like there no point in going because what would God want with someone like me.
Perhaps God is trying to speak to me. Maybe (just maybe) I might start listening.
Lets see what else He has to say over this next month.

New beginnings - growing up

September is often seen as a new year aas its the start of the new school term and activities start up again after the summer break. Kids go back to school in a new class and they have all gotten a year older. Hannah is now in Year 1 and I think we will start seeing how big a step up year 1 is compared to reception as she starts to get homework sent home as of Monday and spellings after half term.
The kids have spent all their lives sleeping in the same bedroom but for the past 6 months I have wanted to separate them and it has finally happenend. Joshua has his own bedroom and has settled well to sleeping in a big boy bed and on his own. He also started pre-school on thursday and received his first 'tificate for completing his 1st day. he is just so grown-up now, its hard to remember to let them do things for themselves. I keep doing things for them when they can do it themselves. The plus side is that I now get 3 mornings a week to myself for ME time. Aerobics, swimming, I may even get the ol' clarinet out and have a blow. Oohhh the excitement. I have two children becoming more independant - it must be time for another little one!!!!

For I know the plans I have for you

I have been finding that difficult to believe of late. I wish God would tell us and tell other poeple who make the decisions cos it feels like no one is getting the message. Its all to do with Pete getting a job, since merging the business with someone else we have struggled financially and Pete has struggled to have a stable job - being made redundant several times. Now he is self-employed and so we struggle with the uncertainty of when and if pete is going to get work for the day. He has had job interviews which we thought he stood a good chance of getting but to no avail. Applied for so many and been turned down or not even short listed. So its no wonder that I struggle to believe the verse "For I know the plans I have for you", i wish it would say after "and I will tell all the appropriate people what they are - the ones who decide on jobs and you which job to apply for"
I have increased my hours at work - for what its worth - so work on the weekends but I just wish we could sell up and get rid of all our debts and start again. I dont know if anyone reads this but if you do please pray for us and our situation.

Today was the Women's Conforence - Free to be - @ Church today. It has been an emotional up & down kind of day. Bringing up loads of things for me to think about/work through. How I feel about myself, my valuation of myself. I know it in my head, the theroy but but in practise it is so much harder to feel worth. To look at myself in the mirror and not think how ugly are you. It is harder to feel that I'm not an irritation and a burden to the people around me. I dont want Hannah to struggle with these issues yet how can I teach her to have confidence in herself both physically, mentally & emotionally when I dont have any in myself. I know that I shouldn't think on these things and that its not Godly to think these things but sometimes it just comes out of my mouth. I dont want to be speaking these things in my house as it wont help Hannah to grow up with a healthy sense of worth. I know I need to spend more quality time with her, to learn about her and get to know her better. I know I need to get back to the basics and put God into the centre of it all.